Hange's List
by ellemai-e
Summary: xLevihanx :: Exactly what would it take for a man so rigid and entirely devoid of any romantic inclination to be in a vulnerable situation such as kissing? Hange Zoe would soon find out a list of experiments would be needed in order to claim the lips of humanities strongest, Levi Rivialle.
1. Sleep Walking

Hello everyone~

This is my very first fan-fic. I'm dedicating it to my two favorite characters who are my otp, Levihan. I use to write poem or poem stories. But that was a while ago, 8yrs ago. Haven't written since. A lot of family/work related stress that incapacitated my imagination. Please do not hesitate in critiquing my work. Be brutal if necessary. I have this ridiculous crave to be artistically talented. I know I can be. I just have to try and never stop practicing. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the story. It was inspired by drinkyourfuckingmilk's beautiful levihan artwork.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shingeki no Kyojin or any works related. They belong to Isayama Hajime

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Levi was livid... instead of awakening to warm Sun rays gracing his porcelain skin; he felt cold clammy hands wrapped around his torso and foreign legs wrapped around his.

"Damn it Hange!" Levi hissed out causing Hange to react by dragging her ice cold feet against both his calves. He cursed under his breath, calling her by his favorite nick name. "Shitty glasses..." This was his worst nightmare, actually, his worst recurring nightmare. This is not the first time he's found Hange in his bed. He'd awaken to find her sprawled out around him, against him, on top of him, next to him... everywhere. What made things worse was her stench. Normally he could tolerate her odor. However her inability to maintain a healthy hygiene for the past two weeks was beyond that of a rabid animal.

Deciding against screaming to high heavens, having tried that in the past to no avail... using his left hand he grabbed her forearm wrapped around his torso, as his right hand reached behind him to grab the other. Pulling both her arms into front view, Levi pushed his legs apart and bent his knees to his stomach. Just as he was ready to escape, he looked up and froze. "Shit!" In the process of unwinding Hange from his body, he somehow maneuvered her so that she was hovering above him. Safe to say if he wasn't humanities strongest soldier and suddenly dropped her, they'd experience the most excruciating face plant kiss known to man. Her lips only centimeters away from his, feeling heat rise to his cheeks, he growled remembering why he was in this predicament in the first place. He tossed her off the bed**. **

**Thump**.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIE! WHAT THE HELL!?" was heard throughout the campgrounds. Levi's eyes widened temporarily as he stood up from his bed, looking to the floor where Hange lay soothing her bottom, he spoke up. "Owie? You were awake." She immediately stilled, realizing she was caught but tried playing stupid to throw him off. "W-what? I was asleep! And now I'm on the floor! Wait, what? How'd I get in he-", Levi interrupted her with a curt voice, "Cut it out, shitty glasses. You've been doing this for two weeks now. Throwing you off the bed never woke you up. I've had enough of this! Why do you keep coming here? Are you trying to mess with me? I've got enough going on with all the shit Erwin is having me do, I don't need your incessant annoying, privacy violating, nasty smelling self around!"

Hange had stopped paying attention, same old speech as always. To be honest, the first week she'd find herself in Levi's room she had no clue as to how that happened. However, one particular morning encouraged her to try out an experiment and see just how far she could take this sleeping adventure of hers into Levi's room without getting killed.

-last week's interesting discovery-

She had felt odd the moment her mind woke up, her eyes closed. It was the familiar smell of the forest combined with pine-sol that alerted her that she was once again in Levi's room. This was the 3rd time this week, there was no doubt Levi would wholeheartedly disapprove. Just as she was about to quietly remover herself from his bed in fear of being ripped a part by Levi's morning grumpiness, the warm body below her stirred. Snapping her eyes open to see if Levi had already woken up, she let out a sigh of relief that Levi had only adjusted himself in his sleep.

"Holy non-existent titan shit!" She immediately bit her tongue, hoping he didn't hear that.

Levi's face was just a few centimeters from hers. Feeling his breath softly blow over her lips, a chill went up her spine. She was on fire. Literally, her body would turn red from her chest up whenever she felt embarrassed and this moment was definitely on the top list of embarrassing moments. However, she felt herself calm down as she silently stared at Levi's sleeping form. He seemed angelic, albeit a demon when awake, his features were soft. It was as though there wasn't a war going on outside. Her eyes drifted to his lips, suddenly craving a feeling she once recalled as a young soldier. She wanted to kiss him. Just as she was about to place her lips upon Levi's, he moved.

_He's waking up. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!_ Inner Hange screamed at herself to stop and pretend to be asleep. She did so. Not being able to see what happened next, she had to rely on her hearing sense.

**Sigh**. It seemed Levi was aware that once again Hange was in his bed. Yet, instead of screaming in her ear there was silence. Hange did her best to remain still when suddenly she felt warm fingers rest on the side of her face.

_Levi. Levi Corporal Riviallie is touching me!_ Inner Hange was freaking out. Remaining still, she felt him gently drum his fingers against her skin. She did her best to move naturally in reaction to this, slightly nuzzling her head forward. **Gasp! **Their lips touched. _HOLY WALLS OUR LIPS TOUCHED! OMGOSH! THEY'RE STILL TOUCHING! DO SOMETHING LEVI! MOVE! MOVE AWAY!_ Her inner self yelled to the unknowing Levi. Instead of moving away, Levi pressed his lips against hers. Hange decided against reacting to this. There was no normal way to sleepily react to this. She has no clue how in the world she should react to this. Goosebumps sprang to life all over her body when she felt a cool wet tongue lick her lips in what could be the most erotic sensation she's ever felt.

She heard a small chuckle and then she couldn't breathe. Levi placed his wide palm over her nose and mouth and held tightly. Hange waited a few moments before she started to react. Eyes still closed, she thought it best to pretend to remain asleep and simply move away from him. However, in doing this, she fell off the bed. She hadn't noticed exactly how close she was the edge of the bed. She could hear the bed creak; knowing Levi must be looking over to see if she woke up. She made a desperate attempt to seem even more asleep; she let out a heavy snore.

**Tch. **She heard him get up and head to his bathroom. She stayed there on the floor, replaying their kissing scene over and over again.

That's when she decided it more pertinent to find out exactly how much more she could get out of this situation instead of finding out why in the world she was sleep walking and waking up in Levi's room.

"OW!" Hange was brought back to the present by a dust pan being smacked against the back of her head. Bringing her hands to where the pain originated, curling her toes as she brought her knees up to her chest in an attempt to stifle the pang she felt.

"You _never_ pay attention." An exhausted and irritated sigh leaves Levi's lips as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He decides to simply ignore her and go about his day. Today he had to deal with training brats. He needed a hot shower to rinse himself of this morning. "Wow, you really are regular Levi. I bet it's those special teas you always have Erwin buy you." Levi responds, "As a matter of fact, it does indeed ke-.. Damn it, Hange. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! AND FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE, TAKE A DAMN SHOWER!" Entering his washroom, he slams the door with all his might.

Hange allows a chuckle to escape as she pulls herself up from the floor. Speaking to herself quietly as she exits his room, "Oh my. It seems necessary to conclude this experiment, or poor Moblit will have a severe panic attack at seeing his squad leader's head mounted on one of the titan dummies outside." She'll have to find out another way to break through his hard exterior. A smile graces her lips as she recalls a song she heard one of the kids singing during Karaoke night.

"You top my list of things to do and I will get close to you. Before this night is through I will have held you, I will have kissed you, and I will have claimed you. You will be mine. I will have loved you, wrong or right. I will have your heart. You will be mine!"

=== She was going to need to write a list.


	2. The Scientific Method

Normally, Hange was known as the person who could come up and actually has come up with the most eccentric science experiments. Her typical subjects were titans, plant and animal life and on occasion the autopsy of a human corpse, for medical grounds only.

However, this experiment is one she's never done before. She's dealing with a human being, a live one for that matter. One who'd, if made aware of her "research", the nape of her neck would certainly be cut just like the abnormal titan the short man of her innocent fantasy believes her to be. No, this would not be like her other ventures and hence she couldn't exactly use the same procedure to figure out how to claim the lips of Lance Corporal, Levi Rivialle.

With a heavy sigh, Hange meditates on the possible ways she could fulfill this seemingly impossible task. She already exceeded the theory of receiving another kiss by way of sleep walking into his room. That was an anomaly in itself she'd have to deal with at another time. Perhaps she could ask Erwin—**pft**. "There's absolutely no way in titan hell he'd give away secrets of humanity's strongest. Uuuugh! This shouldn't be hard! I'm a scientist! I am intelligent. Surely there must be a simple way to make this list." Absent mindedly tapping her pencil against a thick sheet of paper, which contains a doodle of a caricature Levi cleaning a mini toilet she had dreamt of one night, an idea finally struck her.

"I KNOW HOW! I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!?" Hange bumped the palm of her right hand against her forehead as she scooted her chair back, quickly turning to the black board behind her. It really was so simple. Well, for someone with a keen scientific mind that is.

Picking up a piece of chalk using her left hand, while she swiped away the cobwebs that covered the board with the eraser with her right, she jots down the following: The Scientific Method. Drawing a thick line beneath, she draws 5 rectangle boxes vertical to the heading, each with its own caption. She includes two small squares below along with 4 more rectangular boxes.

Ask a question

Research

Construct a Hypothesis

Experiment

Are the trials effective?

No? | Yes?

Trouble-shoot procedure | Continue to analyze the date.

Do results align with hypothesis?

Yes | No → Use research for new/future experiments

Communicate results

Chuckling to herself, she erases the last part. As if she'd tell anyone about this. Stepping back to take a moment of idea processing, she looks over her chart.

"Alright, I definitely now have something to work with. Let's see what we do know and what we need to figure out first." She steps up, chalk in hand and begins writing.

My question is: Is it possible to receive a consensual kiss?

So far, research shows that it is only possible by accidental means. However, research also shows that her lips are not detested for the subject in mind did initiate a kiss, albeit with means of waking her up.

My hypothesis is: Via list of various tasks a kiss will be initiated by subject.

First Trial

Hange steps back from the black board once again, bringing her left hand wielding the somewhat shaved down chalk from her heavy writing up to her hair to scratch away an itch. "Ah. The problem lies with the list." A list of reasons Levi would want to kiss her. Erasing the board of what she previously had, already having stored it away in her "forever locked" memory, she jots down the first 4 things that came to mind.

1. Tea fanatic.

2. Cravat weirdo.

3. Titan killing.

4. Ceasing of unnecessary deaths.

"You've got to be kidding me. I can deal with the first one. I normally help pay for his freakish tea drinking diet. He doesn't know, so perhaps gifting him with one month worth of tea will do it. But where in the world do I get cravats? He does fine by himself with killing titans and the only way for unnecessary deaths to stop from happening is if titans no longer existed! ARGH! THIS ISN'T WORKING!" Hange grabs two fistfuls of hair, tugging at her wits end. Suddenly she hears a knock at the door, to which she jumped towards the black board, eraser in hand and brushed away the evidence.

"Hange, what are you doing? And why does it involve our Lance Corporal, Levi Rivialle?" She spins on her heels and kicks them together as she salutes her commander with the most passionate salute she could show. Fisted hand over her heart while the over pinched her back, reprimanding her for having been so careless, she responds.

"W-why Erwin, it's so nice of you to suddenly drop by! And w-w-what would make you think that had anything to do with Rivialle?!" Hange couldn't look him straight in the eye and resigned herself to stare at his voluptuous eyebrows that reminded her of a yellow caterpillar she once examined and can't for the life of her remember the exact name. She's startled by the deep chuckle coming from Erwin.

"Well, for starters, you have listed the very 4 things Levi would give his soul for in return. What are you planning?" The tilt of his head alerted Hange that if she didn't answer him truthfully, she'd spend countless hours having to listen to him dictate every paper work he had to either file away or hand in.

Clearing her throat, she lies straight through her teeth, "You see, C-c-commander Erwin. I've been an utmost pain to the corporal as of late due to reasons beyond my own understanding. I thought it a nice idea to indulge one of Levi's favorite things. But I wasn't sure what exactly I could do so I chalked up some ideas!" A large smile finds its' way on Hange's face, pleased with her ability to think fast on her feet when it comes to making excuses. All she hoped was that Erwin didn't see through her façade.

"Hange, you've always been a pain. More so than what I've noticed recently."

**_Damn it all to Titans! _**Hange's inner self raged. She was proud of how easy and even thoughtful her lie was. How could he see through that, she swears up and down the man's some sort of mind reader.

"Yes, Hange, I am." Her nose had been scrunched the entire time she was processing what Erwin said, thinking up a way to divert the conversation. When she heard him reply to her inner musings, she looked up at him, quirking the left side of her mouth upwards in what looked like the most horrified expression of someone's mind being read.

"**_Whaaaaat!?"_** She spewed out her disbelief.

"Your facial expressions give you away, Hange. You need to work on that if you ever replace me." Erwin's lips form a coy smile as he sees Hange fall over into a fit of laughter.

"Me? Replace you!? Have you gone mad!? Don't even think about such an idea. I'm not cut out for commander and you know it! I TOOK THE DAY OFF ONLY TO USE IT TO WORK ON WAYS OF GETTING LEVI TO KIS—" Hange immediately clasps both her hands over her mouth. _Damn that Erwin. Knowing exactly what to say to get me to admit what's really on my mind. Astute bastard! _

"Well, well, well. Was that 'kiss' I heard come out of your mouth? So Levi's kissed you? You want to try it again don't you?" Another chuckle escapes Erwin's throat. "You're fantasy, as innocent as it may seem, will put you 6 feet underground, especially if you try doing this yourself." Running his hand through his hair, he sighs in defeat. "You've earned my curiosity. I'll help you out. But, you must promise to report your results. Also, I suggest figuring out more ways." Erwin nods his head, his smile widening at seeing Hange flabbergasted at his offer to help, and turns away, leaving her in bewilderment and with much to think.

"A-alright. Seems I've got the commander's permission. Might as well make this a mission! HEY, I rhymed!" Chuckling to herself, she jots down some more ideas. After finishing up, she heads out of her laboratory, locking up so as to avoid any more embarrassment. She's still rest from her chest up, as always. Turning around, she bumps into the very person she spent most of the day thinking about.

"L-L-L-Levi! What are you doing here!? … I-I mean, what a pleasant surprise, how may I help you!?" The 5'3 man stares at her, already knowing she's up to something.

"Don't even think about it!" He says curtly.

"But you don't even know what I'm going to do yet!" Pouting as she silently reprimands herself for letting him know she is up to something.

"I don't need to know. I know **you **and that's all I need to know to know you shouldn't think about whatever it is you have going on in that abnormal mind of yours." Levi huffs angrily as walks away.

**Hmph**. She whispers, "I'll show you, Mr.I'mhumanitiesstrongestIwon'tdealwithyourcrap shorty regular pooping .. POOP FACE!" Feeling anger swell up inside of her, she was even more determined to claim Levi's lips.

"Just to piss you off, Rivialle, your lips will be mine!"


	3. Retaliation

Okay, this chapter here is what I'm deciding to call a 'filler' chapter. Why? Because the 4-5th chapter is where it's ALL going to start. Hange's actually going to start executing, one bye one, her list of ways to get Levi to kiss her. The problem is is that it's going to be a pretty HUGE chapter(s). I already know how it's going to work out. It's just that I have to write it down and then type it up to edit it n stuff.

I wanted to write a chapter in tribute to Hange's squad. This will be the first filler chapter. The next one will be announced a chapter in advance.

As always, critiques are welcome. Forgive me for any mistakes or non-making-sense sentences. It's 12:36a. and I'm really tired. I will definitely re check the story once more. Although I've checked it various times, and it looks okay. Nvrthlss, I'm a stickler for being a perfectionist as best as a newbie writer can be.

Thank you for reading!

Enjoy~

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Turning the corner, Levi stopped in his tracks.

He heard her.

Perhaps not everything, however he heard enough to know Hange was up to something terribly annoying and troublesome. Levi decided it'd be useless to stop her, since she does whatever she well pleases without a care in this titan infested world for anyone's approval. Especially if she had her mind set on a specific task. No one, not even him, could stop her.

The only option was to fight back. Remind her he is not a force to be trifled with so carelessly. The problem was Hange is too easily entertained. It'd have to be something she'd absolutely hate or somehow messed with her current daily routine.

The most ridiculous idea struck Levi. He was going to need assistance. Heading outside, he looked for the perfect person to help him with his devious planning.

Levi found Moblit, Hange's number one squadling. It appeared he was setting up titan dummies for the surprise mandatory stamina test Erwin suddenly announced to the entire scouting legion. _Tch. What a pain, _thought Levi as he crept up behind Moblit. He always found delight in tormenting the poor man whose nerves were already wrecked due to Hange's terrible habit of endangering herself.

In a stern voice, Levi called to him. "Moblit Berner! You are tasked with assisting me to force your squad leader into a much needed bath."

Startled by the captain's voice and even more so, his odd request, Moblit, who was currently on a ladder against a 13ft class titan dummy preparing to mount the stuffed head, lost his balance. In his attempt to save himself from injury, he lets go of the dummy head and goes for the ladder. Unsuccessful, Moblit lands face up, on the ground. He laid still, eyes screaming for rescue as he noticed the head of the titan dummy had landed directly on top of the captain. Moblit stiffens as Levi lifts the dummy's head off his own and begins to speak.

"Berner," he said in his all to known annoyed voice, "I won't say this again, so listen up. I want you and the rest of Hange's squadlings to assist me in getting that wretched woman to bathe." Levi extends his hands to help Moblit stand up. "Also, if you dare warn Hange of my plans, I'll kill you while you're asleep." It appeared he was still in complete shock.

Levi raised his voice, "OI! Did you hear m-" Moblit kicked his heels together and saluted his captain as he responded in one breath, "Yes sir! Bath. Squad Leader. Secret. Inform squad. ON IT!" After a moment of awkward silence, Moblit asked, "But how in the world woul-" Levi interrupts him.

"We'll get it done during that stupid stamina test Erwin is having us all do. All you have to worry about is following my lead." Moblit didn't dare question Levi further as he watched him walk back into the current legion's living quarters. He had seen that insane glimmer in his eyes once before. It was his squad leader's fault that time too. Apparently, Hange, in a fit of rebellious rage, dumped all of Levi's tea in a nearby river a couple years ago. _Might as well go along with what the captain wants. Squad Leader is due for a good bath. Let's just hope she's compliant enough. I wonder how his plan will work out. We'll find out in a few weeks, I guess._

Moblit continued putting together more titan dummies. Erwin demanded that every squad take part in completing 10 titan dummies a day. Some groaned about having to do the work, but everyone knew how necessary such training actually is. If you don't know how to fight, you're going to die. Even those who do know, die nonetheless... all the more reason for everyone to be in tip top shape.


	4. Part 1 of Surprises Trial 1

I profusely apologize for my terrible updating! .

It's taken me a while to get my heart and mind on the same page about adding chapters 4&5. Part of me feels like it's crap yet part of me feels like it's going the right way in developing the story. Grrr. But, I finally sat myself down and typed them up.

As always, please feel free to leave positive and constructive criticism. Now, here's the kicker.. I DO accept negative criticism. Why? Because it'll fortify my own negative points about my story and force me to try harder!

Anyhow, enjoy~

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It had been days since the last time Hange had the luxury of sleeping in. It took a direct order from Erwin and an official week off from work to get her to comply.

It was early morning. Normally at this time she would be working on a new thesis as to why Titans do this and that. But she was banned from working.

Taking a deep breath in she allowed various thoughts of work come to mind only to slowly exhale and mentally crush them all. This week she was going to dedicate her time in successfully completing her "mission" to get Levi to kiss her.

An awkward knock at the door brought her out from her calculating mind which was trying to figure out exactly where to start first. She got up from her bed and walked to the door, which upon opening it revealed a slightly disheveled Moblit with various packages behind him.

"S-squad leader-" Moblit was immediately sent sideways by an over excited Hange who remembered that her purchases of "all things Levi loves" finally arrived. She quickly pushed the packages into her room, many toppling over. She was able to kick and shuffle her way in with all the packages.

"Thanks a ton, Moblit! Oh by the way, Commander's orders, we have the week off. Tell the squad. Thanks again, you're the best!" Closing the door behind her to a bewildered Moblit who had been instructed to keep her large purchase a secret, Hange dove in and started ripping apart the packaging tape and superfluous packaging peanuts.

She took precedence of each package and decided then that that would be the order in which she conducted her "trials".

The first being a variety of teas.

Hange had ordered 8 types of teas. She categorized them under two important Scouting Legion necessities.

Digestion:

Indian Chai (Natural digestive)

Peppermint (3x daily for 8wks)

Green Tea (Anti stomach ulcers)

Kombucha (Fermented black tea for liver health)

Sleep:

Chamomile (Drink at night)

Valerian (2x daily. Anti-anxiety)

Lavender (Natural relaxant)

St. John's Wort (Anti-depressant)

She only then noticed that she had bought too much. Levi loves tea but usually takes his sweet time in going through his arsenal of it.

Snapping her fingers as an idea came to mind. "Everyone can benefit from this! I'll separate a package and drop it off at the mess hall later. First things first." She stood up and went into her closet where she had numerous art and craft supplies. Quickly sitting back down near her mess of "all things Levi loves", she took out a pair of scissors and began cutting up sheets of colored paper into various shapes. In four different boxes she stacked 16 tea bags, two sets of every kind in their own respective category. Setting the boxes aside, she grabbed her favorite ink pen and wrote on 2 of the variously shaped pieces she cut out and repeated the same with a second set.

This will help keep you regular! No more sitting on the can and sore ass cheeks~

Having a hard time going to sleep? Irritated? Down with the sads? Worry no more!

She stuck each paper through the slit on the front of each box.

-sixteen paper cuts later-

"I'M DONE!" Hange exclaimed both happily and exhausted. While admiring her hard work she questioned herself, albeit for just a moment, if whether she was going too far with this odd "I want Levi to kiss me again" goal. Eyeing each detail of the completed package holding 4 small boxes inside, she hushed her inner self and said aloud,

"Maybe it's ridiculous but it's too late to back down now!" She chuckled to herself and was abruptly startled by a harsh kick to her door.

"Whoa! Who the he-" Levi's voice interjected.

"Oi, shitty glasses! Why have you been hiding out in your room for 24hrs?" Hange's eyes widened surprised to hear Levi so early in the mor- _wait what? _Looking outside, she noticed it was pitch dark. She hadn't realized she worked the entire day away.

"I know you're in there, Hange. What are you doing? Open up." Hange quickly got up, opened the door enough to slide through so that Levi wouldn't see her mess.

"Hey you! What brings you about this area?" Nervously running her hand through her thick brown going on 3 weeks of unwashed and uncombed "mop head", as Levi lovingly calls it. She gets her hand half way and stops. _Are you kidding me!? MY HAND HAS TO GET STUCK AT THIS EXACT MOMENT! _She ignores Levi's questioning gaze and leans her elbow against the frame of her door and flashes him a bright smile.

Staring at her odd pose, he soon realizes what's wrong. "Hand stuck, eh?" His lips twitch into a grin laced with his all known look of disgust when things aren't clean and yet she could tell he was somewhat amused by this.

Somewhat irritated and surprised, Hange replied, "At least I can reach my head."

Levi stood there in silence for a moment. He wasn't surprised by what she said. He's use to her jokes after all these years. Heck, bantering was sort of "their" thing. But it had been a while since she last threw a short joke at him.

Remembering back is when it clicked that obviously she was hiding something from him, specifically him. Dipping his head lower from where she lay her elbow against the door frame, he tries to peep into her room to see exactly what she's up to but Hange straightens up, blocking his view.

"S-so what was it that you wanted, oh shrimpy one?" Wiggling her eyebrows up and down, as she lowered herself to meet his line of sight directly, only to feel a defeated sigh of breathe brush against her nose.

She could tell he was fed up, but she wasn't sure what. They've bantered before and if she went too far he'd let her or just walk away. So it came as a surprise when he sighed yet again and then firmly demanded her to tell him what she was up to.

"What I have planned? Wha-" Hange was confused, where did this suddenly come from? Wait! Is it possible that he knows my plans already!?

"Whatever you have planned for me, just get it over with, now."


	5. Part 2 of Surprises Fishy business

Hange couldn't decide on what emotion she was exactly feeling but it was somewhere between confusion and anxiety. Fidgeting about, wondering if now would be a good time to give him his surprise. Maybe that'll relax the mood, she could tell he was on edge for some weird reason. Perhaps it was about the stamina training test Erwin has scheduled at the end of this week and what exactly will happen after that.

"Alright, just.. wait here for a bit." Slipping back insider her room, she went over to pick up the two packages. Forgetting she still had her hand stuck in her hair, she pulled unconsciously and yanked out a handful of hair

"OWIE!" Levi looked up at the closed door, apparently Hange hurt herself. It took him half a second after thinking that, he then realized she probably forgot her hand was stuck. He let out a small chuckle.

Hange shook the hair out of her hand and rubbed the burning sensation away. Kneeling down, she picked up the packages and weighed them back and forth in both her hands. Still hesitant about showing him, since it seemed that Levi believed she was up to no good. Maybe he misheard; then again she did say she was going to get him. Chuckling at the idea of Levi being on edge over what she might have had in mind, she spun around and opened her door.

Stretching her arms out, she handed him both packages. "Here you go, Levi!"

Levi looked at it as though a titan head or some kind of gross science experiment Hange enjoys doing was spontaneously going to explode from both boxes. He hesitantly took them from her and continued eyeing them suspiciously.

"What are they?" He weighed them in both of his hands; they were surprisingly light but he could definitely smell something similar he couldn't quite think of.

"Well, it's around that time that your tea arsenal needs to be restocked. And since Erwin gave me some time off, I thought I'd do something nice and fancy them up for you!" Levi looked up to see the ridiculously wide smile Hange would hone whenever she felt proud of an accomplishment.

Still weary of Hange's intentions, he decides to open her uncharacteristic surprise gift there. _If something pops out of these, I want her to suffer the effects as well_.

Hange notices that he's about to open the boxes, she quickly turns red and goes for Levi's hands and holds them still with hers.

"N-NO! Not here! It's meant as a surprise!" Levi glared at her and immediately replied, "That's exactly why I'm opening them here, four eyes!" Hange face-palmed and a defeated sigh gave way. "Alright, alright. Go ahead." Looking away from him as her embarrassment began to take hold of her as Levi crouched to the floor and individually unwrapped both packages.

As Levi opened the top of the first which revealed a smaller box with a tag attached to it. He read the sentence aloud.

"This will keep you regular! No more sitting on the can and sore ass cheeks~" With an eyebrow raised, he looked up at Hange; his confusion of the situation was replaced by an amused look. Hange was still looking away and he could see her embarrassment covering her entire face in red that was slowly inching its way onto her neck. He grinned and went back down to examining the contents. It was his favorite teas he regularly used. You can't fight titans let alone survive if you're constipated or have acute gastritis. It was important to him that he be as regular as the rising of the Sun.

Levi then took the second package which also contained a small box and immediately smelled something beautiful. He took a whiff of the box and allowed the variety of smells drift into his nose and immediately felt a sense of calm gently engulf him.

Hange finally took a peak at Levi, curious of his reaction to the second package which contained never before used by Levi teas. She wanted to make sure he'd love them, even if she was pretty confident he would. Hange gaped at Levi. There was a look of wonder in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time. He looked up to her once more and asked, "What in the world is in here!?"

The look of awe on Levi's face made Hange jump into the air and squeal out a hushed "yahoo!". She crouched across from him and said to open it. He does so and is greeted with a tag inside the box which he also reads out, "Having a hard time going to sleep? Irritated? Down with the sads? Worry no more!" Levi answered each question, "Yes, hell yes and definitely." He noticed two index cards in the bigger boxes. Picking them up, he silently reads them. Hange had included an explanation of each kind of tea along with the benefits and effects.

Levi looked up at Hange with a face full of confusion mixed with, an emotion she's only ever seen him capable of showing only in private, hapiness. He fell back against a wall, while still holding his gifts, to stretch out his legs. There was a moment of silence. Levi's mind was reeling. All this time he suspected one of Hange's pranks but surprisingly received the most thoughtful gift he's ever been given in his entire life.

"I thought you were going to prank me." Hange still kneeling, leaned against the wall opposite to Levi, steadying herself using the balls of her feet.

"Prank? Well, actually I do have something planned that to you might consider to be a prank. But I promise you'll like it!" Hange kept smiling not realizing she just gave away her second attempt at getting a kiss. Levi eyed her carefully, knowing her well enough that he could see and feel that there was no mischievous plan playing out in her mind. After a long talk the other day with Erwin he realized the reason why Hange kept entering his room every night. After this random gift giving, he decides he wouldn't really mind if Hange ended up in his room again.

Swiftly standing up, Levi reaches his hand out to help her up as well. "Okay. You win." Hange looks at him expectantly, and he knows exactly what it is she wants. Lowering his head and closing his eyes, he gently massages his forehead, kneading his fingers into the dips of his face and smoothing them over his chin and neck. Finally, looking up, he does his best to give Hange a genuine smile. As he opened his eyes, his lips quirked up in a very rusty smile but his eyes immediately widened more upon seeing Hange's face.

During Levi's self-face massage Hange had prepared herself. She, too, knew him well enough that she could see he understood that she expected something in return. She was a bit embarrassed at first but, closed her eyes and leaned over slightly and puckered her lips.

To Levi all he could think of was a fish.

All Hange heard was a loud thump and laughter.

Opening her eyes, she looked down to find Levi on the floor laughing. It was the strangest sound her ears ever heard. Especially since she's only ever heard him chuckle. She wasn't sure how to react, but thinking about how she must have looked to him she immediately grew red and started to chuckle.

"Oh man, Hange. What the hell was that? Why were you giving me a fishy face? IT LOOKED TERRIBLE! Your eyebrows were bunched up, eyes shut tight, cheeks as huge as Erwin's ass and your lips.. TITAN HELL!" His laughter continued for a bit more. All Hange could do was just watch. For just a moment she felt stupid and ridiculous but as she looked at Levi's laughing face, it was her turn to take on the look of complete awe.

"You're beautiful." The words that slipped out caught her off guard and the fact Levi heard her say something prompted him to stop laughing, which made her go into defense mode. "I-I said you're terrible! Ahahaha!" Levi stared at her for a bit before realizing that he'd been laughing and not once said thank you.

"Tch, you're right. I'm sorry, Hange. Thank you very much; I've never received something like this." His words of gratitude filled her heart up with happiness.

"You're very welcome, Levi!" Levi had put his hand on her shoulder, before walking off with his two opened gifts. And just as he was about to turn the corner, Hange yelled out to him.

"WAIT! YOU THINK ERWIN'S ASS IS BIG TOO!?" Catching up to him and turning the corner with him, both of them stopped dead in their tracks.

"I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or concerned. Either way, don't you have business to attend to, Levi? Oh, with the mandatory survival training coming up in a few days. Knees deep in paperwork and training your respective trainees." Levi could only 'tch', too embarrassed to say anymore and quickly walked off before being dragged in the most awkward conversation ever. Knowing Hange, she'd have no qualms talking about the human body.

The last he could hear before he was out of earshot was Hange going on about how having well rounded gluteus maximus' was a good thing. "This way if you ever land flat on your ass while fighting titans, you're more likely to bounce back!" Levi snorted and finally left towards his room to prepare for the dastardly stamina test.

"You really do need help." Erwin interrupted Hange's unabashed gazing of Levi's retreating figure. He had a ridiculous grin plastered on his face. One Hange knew too well. One that meant he was going to forever tease her for her lack of seduction. She knew it had nothing to do with her physical appearance. In the legion one learned not to focus on outside beauty. Especially since death favored no one. What mattered were loyalty, honesty & self-sacrifice. The ability to seduce has always eluded Hange. She always felt the best way to get what you want was to be straightforward. Sighing she leaned her head back admitting to defeat.

"Oh great 13th Commander of the Scouting Legion, would you please take pity on your lowly squad leader and assist her in attaining the most luscious.." Erwin clapped his hand over her mouth.

"No need to go further. Tell me what you have planned next." Hange gave him a relieved and thankful smile. She definitely needed some advice.

"I was thinking.. cravats!"

* * *

I apologize for the delay! But I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's rather short but only because I decided I wanted to have a chapter dedicated to Eruhan. I love their bromance. And actually, I like the idea of them romantically . I might do a one shot just to get the fangirl feeling out.

Anyhow! I edited most or all of the mistakes I noticed why re-reading this chapter. I reworded a few things and made it more fluid.

I'll be working on Chapter 6 immediately!

Thank you for reading! - w-


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